| Article Index |
|---|
| Party Baby |
| Two |
| Three |
| All Pages |
It really wasn’t looking like much of a night until the baby showed up. We were just sort of watching DVDs of Family Guy and drinking when he busted in with a backwards NASCAR cap and PJs with Batman’s picture on them. And I mean the baby himself would’ve been enough, but he had brought friends, and those friends had brought two cases of PBR, so it was that much cooler. The place became party central: we were playing beer pong, flip cup, kings, and the baby has awesome taste in music, so he put on this playlist with all these hot songs that got everyone going. His friends were really cool and I asked how they met. Turns out the baby published an underground ‘zine on campus and these guys were some of the staff members. I told them I never even knew he could write. “Oh my God, he’s such a good writer, it’s incredible,” said Evelyn, this one cute staff member with short black hair and thick glasses and pins on her black sweater. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head a little whenever she talked about him.
Everyone was having a great time. There was dancing, singing, good conversation, and it was about midnight when I felt pretty drunk and decided I wanted to smoke. I asked my friends if any of them had weed, but everyone was fresh out, so I went over to the baby, who was sitting on Evelyn’s lap and playing with a teething ring.
“Hey, baby, you wouldn’t happen to have any smoke, would you?”He looked up and pointed one of the teething rings to me. Evelyn and I laughed.
“Nah, man,” I said. “Like weed.”
That baby is such a joker, man, because the next thing I know he’s putting his hands down his diaper, apparently like playing with himself, and Evelyn and I are looking at each other and going Oh my God what’s going on, when he pulls out this baggy and gurgles, and Evelyn and I are laughing again.
“Oh wow, baby -- awesome.” I had my bowl in my hand. “Wanna pack one?”
The baby bounced his hands up and down off his lap, which I assumed meant yes, so I sat next to him and Evelyn and got to work.
It was some of the best weed I ever smoked. It completely mellowed me out, and I just sort of melted into the couch for the rest of the night. I didn’t even move when Evelyn and the baby started making out next to me, and I didn’t even mind, because the weed was so good, and the music was incredible, I just sat back and looked up all around the place and kept saying “Man, baby, you are the coolest.”
