CAST OF CHARACTERS
MAN: A twenty-something male who has just ended a long-term relationship
WOMAN: A twenty-something female who must cope with the end of a long-term relationship
HUSBAND: A man in his twenties, Mona's spouse
SCENE
A series of suburban rooms, somewhere in the United States.
TIME
The present.
SETTING:
An empty room, save two figures and a chair with a phone on it. Out of the audience's sight, an additional phone, a hat, and a small fake beard rest behind the figures.
AT RISE:
A MAN and a WOMAN sit CS, back to back. They are each other's support. They don't turn to face each other during the dialogue. Both wear layered clothes (short sleeved shirts and hooded sweatshirts, coupled with jeans) that do not speak of any specific season.
WOMAN
(looking off into the wings, straight ahead)
So, you're leaving.
MAN
(looking in opposite direction, also straight ahead)
Yes.
WOMAN
Why?
MAN
A million reasons.
WOMAN
Give me a summary.
MAN
Closer to the city, easier to meet new people, find new—work.
WOMAN
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
MAN
What?
WOMAN
Nothing.
(beat)
Don't you see what this means?
MAN
What?
WOMAN
You'll just go on the list.
MAN
I haven't a clue what you're talking about.
WOMAN
The list of people who haven't cared enough to stick around. Siblings, neighbors, everyone I've known since high school.
(The WOMAN tilts her head back so it's against the MAN'S back. He tilts his head in kind. She turns her head to look back toward him. He continues looking straight ahead.)
I need you.
MAN
I'm sorry.
(The lights dim, then come up again to show the WOMAN has retrieved her phone. MAN and WOMAN are in same position, but now both have telephones within reach.
MAN dials his phone as WOMAN watches hers intently. Her phone rings loudly, startling her. She claps her hand on the receiver. She counts on her fingers the rings until she'll pick up—one, two, three—then answers.)
WOMAN
Hello?
MAN
You were waiting by the phone weren't you?
WOMAN
No... Yes.
(He smiles)
How was the move?
MAN
Tiring. Stressful. The sofa put a hole in the wall.
WOMAN
(apathetic)
That's too bad.
MAN
How are things there?
WOMAN
Okay, I guess. Mrs. Sullivan asked about you when I saw her at the grocery store. I went home and cried for two hours.
MAN
You're not making this easier.
WOMAN
I wasn't aware I was supposed to.
(beat)
I should go.
MAN
Alright, I'll see you—
WOMAN
Goodbye.
(She hangs up. Slowly, he hangs up too. The lights dim, then come up again, revealing that the WOMAN and MAN now sit next to each other, facing the audience. They no longer touch; a space of about two feet resides between them. Each has a telephone on the opposite side. The WOMAN now wears a hat, the MAN wears a small fake "beard" below his bottom lip, where a soul patch would be. The MAN picks up his phone and dials. The WOMAN's phone rings once. She pounces on it.)
WOMAN
Hello?
MAN
I got a new job.
WOMAN
I got a new hat.
MAN
You always looked good in hats.
WOMAN
Yeah, I know. ...so, what's the job?
MAN
I'm playing piano at the club on 10th and West Blvd.
WOMAN
You work at the Waking World? Doesn't Reilly own that place now?
MAN
Yes, but—
WOMAN
And you're not fucking her?
MAN
(immediately)
No, I love you.
WOMAN
I hate you.
(A long pause hangs between them.)
Sorry. So, what else is new?
MAN
I grew a beard.
WOMAN
You look terrible with facial hair.
MAN
(smiling)
I'll shave it.
(beat)
So, since you're abusing me...do you want to have phone sex?
WOMAN
(bored)
Sure.
MAN
You wanna start?
WOMAN
(without feeling)
We're naked. I lay you down on the bed and mount you. I ride your cock while holding you wrists down so you can't move...
MAN
(into it, breathy)
I overpower you and throw you on your back. I press myself against you and rub my dick against your clit. I penetrate you and you moan in rhythm to my humping. Yeah, is that the way you like it?
(She does not respond. He's rubbing his crotch, she's rolling her eyes.)
Is that the way you like it?
WOMAN
No.
(As she responds, she hangs up. The lights dim and then come up, showing that the MAN and WOMAN now sit, facing each other. The phones are still at their sides. She no longer wears the hat. He is now clean-shaven. The WOMAN holds her phone receiver to her ear and waits. His phone rings once. He answers.)
MAN
Hello?
WOMAN
Hey.
MAN
(voice becomes tender)
Hey. It's been awhile.
WOMAN
A year. What's new?
MAN
Got a day job in an office.
WOMAN
You have a desk job? Never thought I'd see the day.
MAN
Yeah... What about you?
(His current GIRLFRIEND enters SR behind him. She takes the phone from him and kisses him deeply. He only hears the first part of the WOMAN's next sentence.)
WOMAN
I'm getting a promotion, but uh, more importantly, I'm getting married.
(He wrestles the phone back from his GIRLFRIEND. He gestures for her to wait.)
MAN
That sounds great. I'm happy for you. But listen, I have to go. I'll call you soon.
(The WOMAN says nothing, but sits in shock.)
Bye.
(He hangs up and the lights dim. His GIRLFRIEND places a note under his phone, then exits SR. HUSBAND enters SL and sits next to WOMAN. WOMAN moves and lays down with her head resting on HUSBAND's leg. The lights come up and MAN stands next to the chair with the phone on it. He reaches for the phone, causing the note to fall. He picks it up and reads aloud.)
MAN
Dear blah, blah. Things aren't working. You're stuck in the past. Goodbye.
(He grabs the phone and dials as he speaks.)
“Stuck in the past?” What the hell is that?
(The phone at WOMAN's side rings. HUSBAND answers.)
HUSBAND
Hello?
MAN
Uh, sorry, is this 725-0224?
HUSBAND
Yes, it is.
MAN
Oh. Do you know Mona?
HUSBAND
You could say that.
(looks over to WOMAN)
She's my wife.
(The MAN is speechless. The lights dim.)
(Blackout.)
(Curtain.)
Carissa Halston is a writer/performer living in Boston. Her plays have been performed in the US and Canada and published in the US and the UK. She is currently working on a multi-media piece—combining photography, text-based visual art, and performance—with photographer Randolph Pfaff.
Archived at http://girlswithinsurance.com/index.php/component/content/article/251-ch-0710-drifting and shortlinked at http://frsh.in/d3
